My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
