BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize