We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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