tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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