i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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