I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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