Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
