so explain again why im purple
no
i was born a porn star she said
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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