I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
