no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I am available for nakedness
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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