We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Found the puke drawer
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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