I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
