I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
