I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
