hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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