did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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