Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
