Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
