I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
