They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
