I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
