I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
