Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
