I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
