Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
