I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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