so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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