he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
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this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
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I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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