One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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