This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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