I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
