i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
