Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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