I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
