Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
