I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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