The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
