great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
