did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
