My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
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True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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