it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
