Tell her she can't have a vagina
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
