I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
