I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I touched a dick in church today
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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