A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
