4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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