UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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