U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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