you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
