the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
