If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
