So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
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I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
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I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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