We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
