ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
