I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
