I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
