Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
