You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
