We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
