cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
