It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Floor bacon is actually really good
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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