well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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